


A Wolf's Home

by PatchworkIdeas



Series: GatheringFiKi's 12 Days of Christmas 2020 [20]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Were-Creatures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:35:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatchworkIdeas/pseuds/PatchworkIdeas
Summary: Kili finds his home against all odds.
Relationships: Fíli/Kíli (Tolkien)
Series: GatheringFiKi's 12 Days of Christmas 2020 [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2054739
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26
Collections: GatheringFiKi - 12 Days Of Christmas 2020





	A Wolf's Home

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by GatheringFiKi's gorgeous Photoset!
> 
> Shown here with permission, and the original post can be found on [Tumblr.](https://gatheringfiki.tumblr.com/post/638411279657205760/12-days-of-christmas-2020-day-12-stories)

* * *

Kili was hungry. So, so hungry. He hadn’t hunted the night before, hadn’t dared. He’d done nothing but run and run and run, as far and as fast as he could, what little he owned desperately carried along.

Another month.  
Another month alive.  
Alive but hungry.

He didn’t know how much longer he could be hungry before he would snap.

It was that fear mostly that made him reach out, that made him fall so low and made him risk what he knew he shouldn’t.

But the bread had been warm, and it smelled great and the man’s back had been turned, busy with another customer.

He shouldn’t have. But he had. And he would die for it.

For a second he considered wrenching his arm away from the guard, to try to run, to flee, to do anything at all, but he didn’t have the strength anymore. His punishment would only be worse anyhow.

Perhaps the guard could see his resignation, for he didn’t drag or hurt him, just took him by the arm and led him away, to whatever fate awaited.

He opened the door to a house, unusually normal looking for a prison, and bade him to sit at the table, to not move.

And then he left, into a different room.

Kili swallowed. The door was right there. But his stomach was still growling at him, he still felt faint, and even if staying would mean his death in a month, leaving would mean it in a few days. At least prisoners were fed.

And indeed, the blond guard brought bread and meat, fresh fruit and warm stew, and told him to eat.

Kili couldn’t help but be stunned, both by the amount of food, and by how gorgeous his captor was. Perhaps it was the kindness, perhaps it was the light shining through the door behind him, hallowing him like the angel he felt like in that moment.  
But there was food, for the first time in too long, and that was more important than any half delirious visions.

“You could have run. Why didn’t you?” the guard asked when Kili started slowing down after his third plate. 

“Where to? With no food, no home. No one to go to. I’m sorry for what I did, for what I had to do, and I’ll try to make up for it if you let me.”

It was a risk, but the guard had been kind, and as long as he wasn’t locked up he still had a chance. He didn’t care what kind of work they put him to, as long as he had food in his belly and a _chance._

However temporary it would be.

“I’m glad I didn’t misjudge you then. No one should have to be forced to steal to survive. I’m sure we can find something for you to do to make an honest living. Until then I have an extra room you can use. Oh, and I’m Fili, head of the guards. You’ll be safe here.”

Kili doubted it, but he wouldn’t turn down such a kind offer. He couldn’t have afforded it, even if he had wanted to.

-

Kili worked hard, did anything he could. He started with simple repair works, polishing blades and armors, carrying whatever needed to be moved. But it didn’t take long until someone realised he knew how to use a forge. He was rusty after years without opportunity to use his skills, but all the time he had spent learning wasn’t completely forgotten. He wasn’t as good as his uncle, but it came back easily enough. And it was a blessing to a town whose blacksmith had died some years past, leaving the smithy empty and unused.

He probably could have moved in there, but Fili had made no motion to shoo him out now that he had a place to sleep, and Kili had already grown fond of the kind man. Perhaps more than he aught to. He looked forward to leisurely breakfasts and comfortable dinners, filled with laughter and conversation and warm smiles. Fili was smart and witty, loyal to a fault, and he loved this city, loved the people and everything they stood for.

It had been years since Kili had felt like this, been welcomed with open arms.  
He knew it would only hurt all the more later, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. For a moment, just for now, he wanted to pretend this could lead to something. Wanted to see the sparkle in Fili’s eyes and the smiles and the hand that brushed his and believe that he could be loved. That this could be his home, his future. 

But the month passed, as time always did, and he couldn’t risk it. He had grown to love these people, had made sure to finish all the most important orders and repairs, had worked through the night for it even. They had always paid him fairly, treated him kindly, and Fili’s visits throughout each day had become a source of joy he hadn’t thought he would ever feel again.

He wouldn’t spoil that.  
It might just break him for good.

So he packed his bags, light, loathe to leave behind the extra clothes and belongings he had suddenly acquired, and the friends he had made. But it couldn’t be helped.  
He sneaked out at sunset, the suns dying rays throwing the city in warm shades. It was a good memory. And perhaps. Just perhaps. No one would notice. He could pretend he had stayed the night at the forge, had fallen asleep, that’s why he hadn’t been with Fili. Not because he was-

The pain came suddenly, screams of pain transforming into howls.

It had been a nice illusion, but wolves had no use for lies.  
He would never have a home. The only people who left their houses during full moons were monster who had no other choice.

He grabbed his bag between his teeth, and tried not to look back.

-

Blue eyes reflected the moonlight, the golden hair glowed and weaved in the low breeze. Kili froze, thoughts caught between denial, knowing it couldn’t be, Fili couldn’t have overtaken him, couldn’t be here, couldn’t _know_ and the pure survival question if he should drop his bag and try to flee.  
He knew he wouldn’t survive if he did. He would freeze before the day was through.

They were at a standstill for uncounted moments, neither moving, eyes locked, until Fili suddenly sat down on the cold ground. He reached out with an open palm, an offer, too good to be true and still _there._

And Kili came.

Paws shaking beneath him, ears flat, but he inched himself forward nonetheless.

Wolves had no need for illusions, only for cold reality, but this was _real._

The chance was worth the risk.

Fili didn’t speak that night, but he brushed through his fur, held him close without caging him, and not once did he smell of fear. Only of love and affection and perhaps a bit of sorrow.

-

Kili woke up in his bed. Warm, comfortable, tucked in to the chin.  
His packed bag lay in the corner, next to the door, proof and reminder.  
Kili closed his eyes, tried to make sense of the memories, but the squeak of a chair made his eyes snap open.

Fili sat on the other side of him, the light of dawn coming through the window behind him. The handsomeness hadn’t been a delusion the first time, but Kili’s first thought of an angel came again unbidden. 

Had that really happened? Had Fili seen and not… not seen a monster to be killed?

Kili wanted to ask, thoughts a jumble, but Fili held up his hand and Kili flinched, mouth shutting with a click. He knew he didn’t image the sorrow in his friend's eyes and wished he could take the reaction back.

“You are safe here, as you have been before. You have more than proven you mean no harm. And though we don’t talk about it with strangers, you are far from the only shifter here. I won’t stop you from leaving if that is what you truly wish, but please know there is no need to, and you would be dearly missed.”

Fili wasn’t just talking about himself, Kili knew, and yet the thought that Fili would miss him, truly wanted him around, still made him feel warm inside. 

It felt like a dream. But so many of his encounters with Fili did. He couldn’t bring himself to question them, even if the sheer implications of a permanent home, a future, perhaps even a family were too big to fathom, too unbelievable to consider right now. So instead, he concentrated on something else.

“You are a… shifter too, aren’t you? You couldn’t have found me otherwise - I could have gone in any direction. But you weren’t changed, so how?”

“Not every shifter is connected to the moon. I always stay in the light because I change in darkness. And even with the moon out, there are plenty of shadows and dark spaces in the forest to move through. Just keep in mind that it’s different for everyone, and we aren’t _all_ shifters. And while folks are generally accepting here, the same can’t be said of strangers - so don’t go around asking questions, especially if someone isn’t around for a bit, alright? We all have our crosses to bear.”

-

The days after passed by in a blur. Kili went out to the forge every morning, only smiles and laughter and grateful faces greeting him.

He wasn’t exactly quiet when he changed, as much as he tried to be, but instead of a witch hunt, life just seemed to continue seamlessly. As if there was nothing to fear. 

As if the way he had lived for so long, always on the run, was nothing but a bad dream, left behind in the morning rays.

Fili visited him, people joked with him. And, he couldn’t help but notice, no one cared if someone disappeared for a bit, or was sick at home - “Better don’t visit, she gets cranky when she’s sick. She’ll be right as rain before you know it.”

Perhaps it was that last confirmation, that twinkle in the eye as if Kili was in on a long running joke, that finally made it real.

Fili stayed with him that night, holding him while he sobbed, both relieved and in grief for the years he had lost. For the unnecessary sorrow and cruelty.

“I’m not a monster?” he whispered that night, voice hoarse, and for once not caring what it might make him look like.

“You’re not a monster. Far from it. And I won’t let anyone treat you like one ever again.” 

Fili kissed his brow, like an absolution, and that felt like the last missing piece, giving him the courage he might not have had in the light of day. What he wanted for once so close at hand, so impossibly real, that everything he had thought he couldn’t have fell away like shackles, like lies exposed.

The kiss was desperate, messy, tear streaks still on his cheeks, but Fili didn’t recoil, only pulled him closer, holding him like he was something precious.

There was no sin in what he was or what he wanted. No evil to be ashamed of. Just love, and longing, and the final realization. 

He was home.

**Author's Note:**

> That concludes this years 12 Days of Christmas for me. Thank you for going with me on this journey, my dear readers, and I hope you had as much fun reading them as I had writing ;-)
> 
> Merry Christmas! I hope you all have a wonderful time, with lots of love and warmth and happiness! I love you all! ❤️


End file.
